app essay.

Who would’ve expected that my hero would become a janitor? I always knew that my father was exceptional. While my friends complained about how their fathers never had time for them, I could not find any fault with my father. He was there to comfort me when I had my tooth pulled. He taught me how to ride a tricycle step by step. He never yelled or broke a promise. He was kind, protective, trusting, and patient at all times. Not only was he good to me, my father was exemplary in his behavior toward everyone else. Never having had the opportunity to attend college due to financial problems, he always had to sacrifice his body and health by doing manual labor. Yet, he never complained. On the contrary, he always took the extra step to be diligent and helpful. He was always the first one at work and the last one to leave his job. He would even go out of his way to help somebody out, such as by caring for his co-workers when their boss was being neglectful.

Even though today I know that my father is great for who he is and not what he does, in April 2005, I could not help feeling ashamed of him when he became a janitor of the church my family had been attending for eight years. The church is located in a wealthy neighborhood, and most of its members have respectable and high paying jobs as a result. It was really hard for me at first to see my father clean and take out the trash in front of so many watchful eyes. I would hesitate to answer when people asked why my father was always at church. I was afraid that they would be derisive and condescending upon learning that he worked at our church.

Society had corrupted my mind into thinking that great jobs are the ones where you wear $400 dollar suits and carry a briefcase to work into a 500-foot financial building in New York City. I had forgotten that my father is so great not because of his job but because of how hard he works no matter what his given task is. My father’s greatness comes from the small things he does for others. At church, my father uses his proficiency in Spanish to buy bagels for the landscapers every Saturday and listen to them complain about their jobs. They feel comforted after they talk to him, and they are touched through his genuine caring heart. My father does not crave respect or attention because in his heart he only has the desire to serve others.

Watching my father devote himself to serving others has changed me. Last Christmas, instead of shopping for family and friends, I bought presents for a rather different group of people. I eagerly wrapped up 10 gifts and carried them to school. The first box of chocolates went to one of Cresskill High School’s custodians, Mr. John Williams and the last set of Bath and Body Works gift set went to our cafeteria lady, Mrs. Millicent Cafiero. Nobody could ever experience the joy and warmth that I felt in my heart as I watched those amazing individuals receive my gifts. As I saw their faces light up, I experienced true happiness. Furthermore, I realized that all this time that I had been worried for my father that he was not getting respect, he had been feeling truly happy. He taught me the greatest lesson in life: that I cannot be happy if I live a selfish life. My father will forever be my hero.

yearn.

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses

There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?

For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You

For what do I have If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head


cry in my heart- starfield

coffee.

when will sarah learn that procrastination is not the way to life?! rahh i cant believe i did it again. catch 22 is due tomorrow and i'm on page 25 out of 464 pages. screw it i'm tired so i'm gonna go sleep :) i never read when i'm supposed to and i always end up pulling an all nighter the day night before its due. old habits are sooo hard to fix. gah i'm gonna get screwed when i go to college -.- i should really fix my bad bad habit now =P aigoo my mommy made me the yummiest strongest coffee so that i would be able to pull an all-nighter, but it was no use.. i've had so much coffee that it doesn't even affect me anymore -.- i'm sleepy :)

oh gosh. i took a quiz today on literary terms and i totally BOMBED it. my teacher is so freaking evil and she secretly writes it on the board that we're gonna have a quiz.. and of course i never notice it on the board. eesh she's so annoying! everyone told me not to do AP Lit cuz they all said the work was hard. the work isn't hard at all.. it's just the teacher who has bipolar disorder and is a complete bridezilla. i'm gonna get a 2 on my AP exam just to make her smile :) hehehahahoho

nahnee nahnee nahnee i can't wait for september. as much as i'm gonna miss jersey people, i really really really need to leave. i think i realized today how much i'm gonna miss the few people that i care about. awww :'( let's take lots of pictures guys so i can buy tons of frames and put them all over my dorm :)

i sarang hae you chingoo deul <3

cry out.

Shepherd of my soul, I give You full control
Wherever You may lead I will follow
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice
Wherever You may lead I will go

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide

question mark.

change. it's funny how life goes on regardless of the change that occurs in our lives. things have been pretty hard these days, but i've managed to crack a smile here and there. i realized how amazing the people in my life are. they may be few, but they're true :) my friends are like firefighters, they're the ones that walk in to save me when everyone runs away scared. thanks guys :)

i really can't wait for umass. everyone says that college is so much harder and whatnot, [i bet it is] but i really need to go. i'm in dire need of a change of scenery. i can't believe that i, claudia sarah han, am already a college student. oh jeeez i'm getting old hehe.

found this interesting article on college acceptances this year:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/04/07/MNGTTP4OGT1.DTL
"Colgate is now where Dartmouth was. Dartmouth is where Amherst was. Amherst is where Brown was. Brown is where Stanford was. Stanford is where Harvard was, and Harvard is all by itself taking 9 percent."
craziness man. good luck to all of you tiny children :)

this entry was all over the place but yea.

well here's to all the good times ahead :)